"I invented a device that sucks up crumbs. My advisors told me that's just a vacuum. Can you believe that? - invented the vacuum." -Elon Musk

Elon is the worst.

That explains a lot.

Most hang gliding deaths are caused by territorial hanks ripping holes into the glider.

Terrifying.

I have been informed that the average Scotsman wears a dozen of these under his kilt.

A person wearing a black and white plaid skirt lifts the hem to reveal a silver-handled knife secured in a black sheath, which is strapped to their upper thigh with two black bands.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Garter Belt Dagger. It's a very cool blade for women. Less so for men. I get some very weird looks when I reach down into my pants to pull out my dagger.
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Lemony Snicket is not a pseudonym, and the author always hated his parents for giving him such a silly name.

That's unfortunate.

A graph. X-axis: Facts Y-axis" Facts The line is diagonal.

Some people have seemed confused about what my Low Quality Facts account is, so I made this graph to help you all understand it.

1 Alexander Graham Bell: I've done it. I've invented the world's first telephone. 2 Wife: Does it work? 3 Alexander, holding phone up to his ear: I don't know.

We made a comic about the first telephone.

Bruce Springsteen is known as "The Boss" because he was the final boss in Luigi's Mansion.

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.

Wow, I somehow never knew that.

On the bright side, every ticket to the end of the world is a front row ticket. Except for the astronauts on Artemis II. They'll have to settle for nosebleed seats.

A rectangular enamel pin designed to look like a vintage ticket stub. The pin is cream-colored with black text and borders. On the left, it reads "ADMIT ONE" vertically, and on the right, it reads "FRONT ROW" vertically. The center features a black illustration of a globe on fire next to the words "THE END OF THE WORLD."

Another day, another unhinged post from the President of the United States casually threatening to exterminate an entire civilization. Today's Low Quality Ad is for this End of the World Pin. Get your tickets while you still can folks, looks like they'll be sold out soon.
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Although he was known for loving the great outdoors, Theodore Roosevelt was deathly afraid of squirrels.

Everyone's afraid of something.

That is some impressive dedication.

I love Willem Dafoe.

The TSA is legally allowed to confiscate candy from your luggage and eat it in front of you.

Maybe we shouldn't fund them.

No, I am not getting capybaras mixed up with Chupacabras. A Chupacabra is relatively harmless compared to a capybara.

A fluffy brown capybara plush slap bracelet wrapped around a person's wrist.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Capybara Plush. Capybaras, commonly known as land leeches, can latch onto a human and drain five liters of blood in less than a minute.
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Famed architect Antoni Gaudi detested the Eiffel Tower, and once described it as "the exact opposite of what any structure should look like".

Boom, roasted.

"If a baby begins to cry, that means have won the debate. The infant clearly has no factual evidence to support its argument, so it has resorted to emotional manipulation. " Ben Shapiro

Ben Shapiro is exhausting.

Of course, I'm a big fan of a lot of their designs!

Most organs donated by organ donors are used as decorations at haunted houses.

Please make sure you're an organ donor.

A phone notification from "Collabs" featuring a green icon. The text reads: "Cha-ching You just earned $0.00 in commission."

Everyone told me this account was stupid. They said it would never be successful. People told me to give up and delete it.

Long have I waited for the day I could prove my haters wrong. Take a look at what I made today. Who's the failure now, huh?

Yes, "Eat the rich" applies to all billionaires.

"But Taylor Swift and Mark Cuban"

Sorry buddy, they're on the menu too.

A charcoal grey t-shirt featuring a punk-style illustration of a snarling opossum. The opossum is drawn with jagged lines and has a green, textured body with the words "EAT THE RICH" written across its side in a rough, hand-drawn font.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Eat The Rich T-shirt. Grocery prices keep going up, the price of billionaires with a little hot sauce on them keeps staying the same. Eating the rich is just a matter of simple economics.
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Citizens of Singapore are given shoes of varying heights so that no one person is taller than another.

It must be hard for the toddlers to walk.

That's the most petty thing I've ever heard.

It was originally a peaceful invention. Not to bread, obviously.

Tap dancing, ballet, and ballroom dancing are all derived from the Macarena.

It is known as the mother of all dances.