Rest up, McLean on the hill tomorrow

As a rangers fan, I’m pulling for the swords

Me, an atheist: Your holiness I stand ready to join the crusade against these heretics

never been religious but i gotta say if the Chicago Pope excommunicates jd vance im showing up to RCIA the minute the doors open

"They Shall Not Grow Old" should be required viewing

Evergreen

everything is so fuuuuuuuucking stupid

Things that help calm the nervous system, quickly:

- Box breathing (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4, repeat)
- Immerse your face in cold water (activates mammalian dive reflex)
- Humming (stimulates vagus nerve)
- Exercise (anything helps, outside even better)
- Impeachment and removal

I use my dog as a therapist. She doesn’t ask me any questions, but she’s a great listener

Same to all those who chose not to vote for whatever single issue they deemed more important than stopping a literal global existential threat.

Who would you consider a better overall outfielder in Mets history? Strawberry has better offensive numbers, but not by much. Beltran was also an elite CF and base stealer.

I picked a bad day to stop sniffing glue

someone tell congress spring break has to be cancelled so they can come home and do a real fast impeachment, and then they can go back to their fundraising dinners by friday at the latest

There is a path. It’s the path that Michael Vick walked. He has worked with the Humane Society for the last 17 years to educate folk about animal cruelty. He says he’ll do that work for the rest of his life.

Call me when Louis or Kanye devotes even one weekend to making reparation.

Still haven’t moved my snowblower from my garage to the back of the shed.

Comic. [Sign above four people. A person sits at a desk working on a laptop. A person with ponytail is talking to person with white hat. A person with short hair walks away.] SIGN: It has been [-0.00000000000000044] days since our last floating point error

Day Counter

xkcd.com/3228/

Evil little bastards

Evangelicals have been anti-catholic throughout their history, until the last 50 years. Now that Row has been overturned, they don’t need Catholics anymore.

In our nation’s 250th year, I have been mulled over when it was that individualism triumphed over the idea of societal collective good

We’ve always had a balance of individualism and the collective responsibility of a free society

But at some point the balance tipped hard towards selfishness

"Motherfucker, I'm talking"

Watched the first few innings and fell asleep. Did yard work all day and was wiped out, but I did fall asleep happy

I have colleagues in India who have no propane for cooking. Most restaurants in the area are also closed as well. I apologize for my country’s insane actions every time I talk to them

I mean, you don't really need a translator

4 April 1945 | Ohrdruf camp was liberated by the 4th Armored Division, led by Brigadier General Joseph Cutrona, and the 89th Infantry Division. It was the first German Nazi concentration camp liberated by the US Army. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohrdruf_concentrati...

This got a cheer that might end up being the loudest of the season at Target Field.

As an American, there are always disappointments to register and arguments to engage; amid the chaos of our battered, monied attempt at self-governance, dissent is constant.
But this feeling of being utterly ashamed of America and embarrassed to the core by its president is new, raw and unnerving.

Restaurant websites that only let you view their menu through clicking "Order Now" must be destroyed. Sometimes we just want to look at the menu.

🧵Spotted on Good Friday Eve in Aotearoa New Zealand:

A couple (50s?) are sitting in a 90s Corolla, looking over a sunset sea and mountain view, scarfing burgers with conspiratorial grins.
Seen moments later at a theatre show in a nearby boathouse, contentedly rubbing their tummies. (1)

Has to be an AI generated article, because who the hell needs a recipe for something known as a half and half?

<spit. Take />