War crimes with some light jazz. Very classy.

Four-byline alert: 🚨

“.. A broker for Pete Hegseth, the US defence secretary, attempted to make a big investment in major defence companies in the weeks leading up to the US-Israeli attack on Iran, according to three people familiar with the matter.”

www.ft.com/content/744e...

art gallery: You finish that painting of Frodo and Gollum?
Artist: Sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked.

Major gas at the MDC in DTLA followed by “you are no longer protected by any right”

Folks split, people screaming for medics. I am blind atm

Looks like AI

An adult man named Esoteric Jeff claiming The Onion would be out of business by 2025.

A series of other guys with names like Esoteric Jeff giving The Onion 12 months to live.

The Onion being named one of the most innovative companies of 2026.

Eat shit, lol, and long live The Onion.

Thank you for your service

WELKER: Do you think it's appropriate for POTUS to celebrate the death of Bronze Star recipient?

BESSENT: Neither one of us can understand what's been done to the president & his family

W: So there's nothing wrong w/post saying, 'Good. Mueller's dead'?

B: We should have empathy for the president

Giving away the game here that ICE is his own mob he will deploy if his demands aren't met.

I just noticed there's a giant fusion reactor in the sky. We could probably get some energy from that if oil is a problem

Reports of Chuck Norris's death are untrue.

We are now all dead, and he now roams the Earth alone.

I don't mean to brag but I just learned I have "Reserve" status at the Starbucks now. 💁‍♂️

The best line from the Melania movie has to be when she says President Carter, a man who was 100 years old and in hospice, died “unexpectedly.”

I’m not sure I’ve seen a dumber thing in my lifetime than the entire elite class of America deciding that the war is now over and everything is normal because Trump made that comment

🌮

This is, quite simply, not remotely true. One generation ago? In 2002? What about two and three generations ago? Nope. Not remotely true. It doesn't advance discussions of political economy to make absurd claims like this.

holy shit

CNBC screenshot showing oil currently at $106.77

WELCOME TO THE BLUNDERDOME

Taylor Swift screaming

Taylor Swift happy

Me on the inside

Me on the outside

It must be so so so so bad for the Rupert Murdoch owned WSJ to run this

Just up at midnight dodging tornadoes. Kansas things.

Misquoting Orwell is the perfect end to her tenure

Bluesky app release notes - Translate posts without leaving the app - Fresh new look thanks to iOS 26 - Re-arrange your pinned feeds by dragging and dropping them - Many small bug fixes and improvements Version 1.118.0 • 75.3 MB “Fresh new look thanks to iOS 26” is highlighted

Oh no

Calling states "red" and "blue" based on presidential results not only ignores the partisanship of other statewide votes but also ignores how lousy those descriptors are at the presidential level.
www.ms.now/opinion/texa...

The WITH at the end of that statement is carrying a lot of weight.

It took 18 years but Apple finally made a netbook.

Simply Cheetos Crunchy White Cheddar are like fucking crack for my right now. 🤤

Gas is 70¢ more per gallon today at my usual station than it was this time last week.