I thought they stopped making the Cool Alert PullUps, though...

Let me translate for everyone else: you like to be "Fussy and bratty and confusing"

*headtilts* Yes?

*pats you on the head* Silly little wolf cub! I'm a big pup now! I'm rarely soggy! Only the occassional oopsie! But that's ok, cause even big pups have accidents sometimes!

So he's locked into his crib WITH his iPad above him. Ask for a zoom call!

So today you WANT a change, while yesterday you ran away from every attempt to change you.

You know... Can we get Kenny back? He seemed much better behaved... 🤔

I just watch the ones that enter My yard. I mean, it's just basic security, ya know? Don't want any of them bird to be stealing my treats! Or bothering my plants! But they can have all the bugs and worms they can eat! Hmmm... Might even put out a feeder to keep them in line.

I cracked an egg today too!

for my fried rice!

Jays are related to crows, so they're pretty intelligent, but they're also little asshats.

Bluebirds are much nicer.

I think you might need to have Alex help you with that translation, kitten. No, I'm not interested in critiquing how you cook and eat your pants.

Did you mean to ask if I liked your outfit today, with emphasis on your kitten pants? Cause, yeah, that's not what you asked...

I saw a blue jay AND a blue bird yesterday. Did you know that blue jays are very rude? They were all yelling at the other birds for no reason!

I like to combine mine... Avocado (green) + Tomato (red) + Jalapeno (green) + Cilantro (green)... ;-P

I guess I need to explain "Puppy" translations. You just need to phrase things correctly to get a response! It's "Are you a good pup?" becomes "Who's a good pup?". So, like, "What's your favorite color?" becomes "What color does the puppy like? I bet you like pink? Do you like pink, puppy?"

Indeed! I do enjoy barking at squirrels! And bunnies, too! Just ask @basilbunny.bsky.social! They've been both! ;-P

#TMITuesday #AMA

Puppy here to answer all your most pressing Puppy-related questions!

[Note: Please translate all questions into puppy before sending them. Thank you.]

Ok! Let's go for a hike so I can finally see a beaver in the wild! 😁

I adore how proud you are of being a bedwetter. It's very middle coded and adorably dorky. Adorkable, even.

Just like Fix-It Felix Jr.!

*nod nods* Every so often I'll sleep "wrong" and my knee will bother me for at least half the day. It really does set the tone for the rest of the day.

You want to play, huh? Let's play! *wiggles and barks*

Do horses want cake? We conducted an investigation into statements published by @bencollins.bsky.social in the print edition of @theonion.com.

Adorable!

Mid'l'f'night 'curity chek!

Thwat's quipte a tongue twistler!

Jaq... My friend. Have you not realized that people will follow you, even if you don't intend to lead. In fact, it's one of the things that makes you good at getting things done for events/conventions. Your drive and energy infects others.

...
It was a late Friday night again, but the spell was almost complete. Soon we would summon an army of Babyfurs! But first... who to select as the General for our Corps of Crinkle Comandoes...

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

For a short while... Before she went hiking again.

Isn't it more fun to lose your potty training over and over again? Source say yes! ;-)

I kinda want a t-shirt that has a logo like the "Intel Inside" one, but it says "Pup Inside"

And how many times have you "lost" your potty training while hiking through the woods?