#TimelineOfAbsurdity

Targets reported to have experienced enhanced clarity, surprise cash influx, and spontaneous spiritual upgrades.

Source possibly initiated own shadow awakening and now confused why everything feels weird and "off."
(3/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity

The herb of clarity, success, abundance, protection. Solar-aligned and notoriously pro-blessing. Yes. That one.

That’s like trying to hex someone with a rainbow and then being surprised when their credit score goes up.
(2/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity

⚠️ Timeline of Absurdity™ Patch Note v2025.9.15

[BUG/Undocumented Feature] – The Great Bay Leaf Backfire

Status: Catastrophic Backfire

Notes: During eclipse season, a conservative apparently tried to curse certain liberals using a bay leaf. Yes. A bay leaf.
(1/3)
#satire #TimelineOfAbsurdity

🚀 Planetary Chaos Report: Retrograde-palooza & Cosmic Shenanigans💫 If life has felt like a confusing, chaotic mess lately, you’re not imagining it. We’re currently caught in the cosmic crossfire of multiple retrogrades, an eclipse aftermath, and an upcoming equino…

🚀 Timeline of Absurdity™ Special: Retrograde-palooza & Cosmic Shenanigans

⚠️ Warning: Multiple Retrogrades in Effect. Proceed with Snacks.

timelineofabsurdity.wordpress.com/2025/03/19/%...

#TimelineOfAbsurdity #satire #astrologyFun #shenanigans #retrograde