Convoluted yet redoubtable April Fool's Day email prank from the US Patent and Trademark Office
"...first-of-its-kind agentic AI tool to assist in patent eligibility determinations under 35 U.S.C. §101.
America’s Innovation Agency’s new AI system, termed “McConaughey Agentic Tasking Technology Helping Examiner Workload,” or “MATTHEW,” for short, will help examiners tackle the thorniest of eligibility questions as to whether claims presented are an abstract idea or a patent-eligible invention. “MATTHEW will greatly enhance our ability to make the close calls—or any call, really—as I herewith also suspend all applicable precedent, including Desjardins, Alice, and Mayo,” said USPTO Director John A. Squires. “Basically, in terms of eligibility, if MATTHEW says your invention is ‘Alright, Alright, Alright,’ then it’s ‘Alright, Alright, Alright’ with the USPTO.”
“Initially, we had some concerns that we would be introducing a three-part test in place of the two-part test under Alice and Mayo, but I think we’ll be al…um, okay,” he continued.
We want to equip our examiners—the best in the world at what they do—with the best tools to assist them,” said Director Squires. “In fact, MATTHEW was selected after careful evaluation of best-in-breed offerings, including the ‘Binary Eligibility Engaged Translation Language Environment Joint User Interface Computational Evaluator,’ or ‘BEETLEJUICE,’” he stated. “But the coders had some issues in testing when they said the name three times. I hope they’ll be al…um, okay,” remarked the Director."
When asked if the USPTO licensed its tool in light of famed actor McConaughey’s recent Name Image and Likeness (NIL) ‘non-traditional’ registrations, Director Squires retorted, “Well, he’s the one who said, ‘trademark yourself!’—I think the Founders would have wanted this...." (more text but truncated)
Well well well, someone at the @uspto.bsky.social has a sense of humor.
#USPTO #patentlaw